Secrets in the Snow (Meadowfall Firefighters Book 3) Read online

  Secrets in the Snow

  A Meadowfall Firefighters novel

  Anna Wineheart

  Contents

  Secrets in the Snow

  1. Ben

  2. Alec

  3. Ben

  4. Alec

  5. Ben

  6. Alec

  7. Ben

  8. Ben

  9. Ben

  10. Ben

  11. Alec

  12. Ben

  13. Ben

  14. Alec

  15. Ben

  16. Ben

  17. Ben

  18. Ben

  19. Ben

  20. Alec

  21. Alec

  22. Ben

  23. Alec

  24. Ben

  25. Alec

  26. Alec

  27. Ben

  28. Ben

  29. Alec

  30. Ben

  Epilogue

  Thank You! + Coming soon!

  Also by Anna

  About the Author

  Copyright Anna Wineheart 2020

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means whatsoever without express written permission from the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

  This novel contains graphic sexual content between two men. Intended for mature readers only.

  Warnings: warnings: past domestic violence, brief on-page torture, mild dubcon (handjob, consent given after), violence, some gore

  In case you need a reminder:

  You are beautiful.

  You are worthy.

  You are loved.

  .

  Links!

  Follow Anna on Amazon for the latest book releases!

  Plus, sign up for Anna’s newsletter and catch super sneak previews at Anna’s Wine Shack (Anna’s reader group).

  Bookbub | Goodreads

  Secrets in the Snow

  Imagine crashing into your way-too-handsome firefighter stepbrother. Now imagine being snowed in with him. While you’re in heat. (Spoiler: Someone ends up with a baby)

  Divorced and a single dad, the thought of attending his cousin’s wedding fills Ben with dread. His own marriage ended in failure; he has no desire for another alpha. Except he had an alpha once—sort of. He’d grown up with Alec, and Alec had protected him, Alec had held him when he’d cried.

  With Alec, Ben had felt safe and loved. With Alec, Ben had been happy.

  Until that messed-up Spin-the-Bottle game, when Alec had been forced to kiss Ben. Everything had changed in that instant: Alec had seen Ben’s desire. And he had left.

  By himself, Ben has made terrible choices. He has gotten into trouble, and he’s still in trouble.

  When he takes a chance and attends the wedding, he finds himself stuck in a cabin with a stepbrother who now hates him. Worse, his heat is approaching. The last thing Ben wants… is for Alec to discover how much Ben’s still in love with him.

  (Spoiler: Alec doesn't hate Ben at all. Alec has a crush, and he's been keeping secrets. Secrets that involve Ben.)

  1

  Ben

  The wedding ceremony was crowded⁠—at least, to Ben it was.

  High up in California’s San Bernardino Mountains, with angry gray clouds looming overhead and fifty relatives crammed into the chapel’s tiny garden, Ben struggled to breathe.

  He hadn’t met most of his relatives in ages, for good reason: his aunts had been beaming and asking where his alpha was, and the ones who hadn’t⁠—they’d asked when he was having his next child.

  Then they’d proceeded to tell him how their own sons and daughters had found such perfect bondmates⁠—enough to make Ben’s stomach turn.

  Ben no longer had an alpha. He wasn’t ready for another child. Ben’s Buns was still in debt, and he didn’t need the extra pressure of an alpha or a second child making everything worse.

  Just this morning, his assistant, Vic, had texted to say that Xav had to take another day off, leaving them understaffed yet again. It wasn’t great for business. Not when Ben’s Buns was sinking slowly like a leaking boat in the middle of the ocean, with no land in sight.

  He breathed out the lump of growing anxiety in his chest. Things would get better. After the ceremony, after they’d had a good night’s sleep, he’d hurry home with Izzy, and try to fix everything again.

  Somehow.

  “Will you, Theo Middleton, take Sidney Allwell to be your lawful alpha?” the minister asked.

  Ben fingered the empty spot on his ring finger. It felt so good, not having a wedding band there. He wasn’t even envious of Theo. To everyone else, that probably seemed strange for a twenty-six-year-old to say.

  “Uncle Theo looks so pretty in his dress,” seven-year-old Izzy whispered. “Will you get married in a dress too, Daddy?”

  Ben wet his lips. “No, I won’t be getting married in a dress.” Or ever again.

  Even if Izzy sometimes looked up from the TV and asked, Do you think there are good alphas out there?

  William rarely showed his face again, even before the divorce papers were finalized. He’d left debts in Ben’s name, he’d moved on to a slew of other omegas. He’d left deep scars all over Ben’s arms; ugly red markings that Ben made sure to hide, every time he met someone else. All Ben felt was an unerasable filthiness from having married that alpha.

  Ben had come home one day, hoping to find his alpha taking care of their son. What he’d found instead was William fucking some other omega in their bedroom, on their bed, and Izzy had been sniffling by himself inside a closet. Ben had broken down and yelled at William to leave, and William had hit him. Again.

  The memory left a sour taste in Ben’s mouth. No, he wasn’t marrying, and no, he wasn’t looking for another alpha. One had already been too many.

  He forced himself to calm down. He breathed in the chilly evening air, looking at the golden fairy lights strung up on the red-leafed trees. Theo’s wedding gown sparkled like it was made of a thousand fireflies, and Ben admitted to himself that it was pretty.

  He hoped Theo’s alpha would treat him well.

  The only alpha Ben trusted... his stomach flipped. That would be Alec, his stepbrother. Except Alec hated Ben.

  Years back, before Ben had gotten married, before he’d even met William... there had been Alec. Alec was his age⁠—Alec’s dad had married Ben’s mom when they were both eleven, and they had become stepbrothers.

  Ben had grown up sickly. Somehow, Alec had stuck by his side, waiting at the bus stop for Ben so they could walk home together. Alec had helped Ben with his math homework, and he’d brought home treats and cookies from school to share with Ben.

  Once, Ben’s library book had almost become overdue. If they owed the library a fine, Dad would beat them both. Alec had taken the book and run all the way to the library to return it. He’d barely made it, too, just two minutes before closing. Then he’d sprinted all the way home, and he’d been so late for dinner, Dad had beaten him anyway.

  Dad had been strict. Even so, Ben and Alec had both loved him. When Dad had died from a heart attack, Alec had held Ben and wiped away his tears. He’d dropped kisses all over Ben’s face, too⁠—his forehead, his nose, his cheeks.

  That was probably the moment Ben had developed a crush on his stepbrother⁠—when Alec had cradle
d him, murmuring into his ear.

  Shame prickled his cheeks now. Ben stared at his cousin, trying to focus on the wedding. But he couldn’t help remembering Alec’s arms around him, Alec sleeping in bed next to him.

  Ben had messed it all up.

  He was supposed to keep his crush a secret. If Mom or Gran found out, they’d disown him. And Alec... He was far too important for Ben to risk their relationship.

  Except their high school friends had played Spin-the-Bottle one day. When Alec had spun that bottle, it had slowed down, and the worst premonition had swallowed Ben’s stomach. He’d forgotten to breathe, his heart turning somersaults. Then the bottle had stopped, pointing right at him.

  All their friends knew they were stepbrothers. And like seventeen-year-olds were wont to do, they’d goaded Alec into kissing Ben.

  Ben had craved Alec’s kiss⁠—he’d needed it for years. But Alec had looked uncertain, he’d looked... wary.

  Alec had crossed the circle, he’d knelt in front of Ben, and Ben’s ears had rung. Alec had leaned in, pressing a clumsy kiss to his mouth. Alec’s lips had been soft, his breath hot on Ben’s skin. He’d smelled like sweet soda.

  That kiss had felt like an instant and an eternity.

  Ben’s lips had tingled, his heart had felt like it would burst. Maybe his desire had shown on his face, because the next moment, Alec’s expression had closed off, and he’d left the circle, not even waiting for Ben before he went home.

  Their friends had all looked at Ben. In Alec’s absence⁠—Alec must’ve seen how much Ben wanted him, and he must’ve been disgusted⁠—Ben had realized how much he’d screwed up. Did you like it? their friends had asked. Are you going to sleep with Alec?

  Ben had shaken his head so hard, it had felt like his neck might snap. He’d said no. He’d said it had felt terrible.

  But he knew that Alec had seen something, he knew that Alec didn’t like what he’d seen in Ben. When Ben returned home that night, Alec had been silent in their bedroom. In the days after, he’d hardly spoken to Ben at all.

  Ben had tried initiating conversation again. He’d felt awkward, ashamed. And Alec had given him monosyllabic answers.

  Soon after they’d graduated from high school, Alec had moved out, leaving Ben behind. Ben had felt crushed, he’d felt dirty and rejected, and he’d sought out an alpha who wanted him. Then he’d made the mistake of sleeping with William, marrying him, and...

  And now Ben’s life was a mess.

  Somehow, he made it through the wedding ceremony. He joined the rest of the family in the chapel’s side room, where a fancy restaurant had laid out a catered feast. Mostly, Ben made sure that Izzy had enough to eat, he made sure that he’d plastered a smile on his face, so no one would know how much the wedding had affected him.

  “Hey.” Theo stopped next to Ben, his dress shimmering beneath the lights. “I’m glad you could make it, Ben. I’m so sorry about the lodgings mix-up.”

  “Don’t worry about it. We’re fine.” Ben patted Theo’s hand, forcing a smile.

  The rest of their extended family was staying overnight at the little resort town. Theo and Sidney’s parents were paying for everyone’s accommodations, but in the booking process, lodgings for Ben’s family had somehow been left out. By the time they’d discovered the mistake, every hotel had been fully booked. Theo had only been able to find a cabin for Ben, Izzy, Mom, and Gran two miles into the woods. That was before Gran had slipped and fractured her hip.

  “I hope Gran’s okay.” Theo frowned.

  “She will be,” Ben assured him. “Mom’s taking care of her back home. She said Gran’s doing better today.” Except... Mom didn’t like sharing bad news⁠—she didn’t want to worry Ben.

  Theo smiled, handing Ben a keyring. “Here are your keys. Temmie will drop you guys off at the cabin. Sorry again.”

  Ben was about to congratulate Theo, when he caught a whiff of a familiar scent⁠—teak. Beneath the woodsy scents of alphas, the grassy scents of betas, and the floral scents of omegas, that one smell stood out⁠—because it was the scent Ben had grown up with.

  Alec.

  He was here.

  Ben’s stomach dropped. This was something he should’ve expected⁠—Alec was family. Of course he was invited.

  His pulse thundering, Ben dropped to a crouch to check on Izzy. It wasn’t to hide from his stepbrother. (It so was.) “Did you have enough to eat?” Ben asked breathlessly. “Do you want more?”

  Izzy was looking at the dessert table in awe. “I want the strawberry cake.”

  Ben couldn’t tell where Alec was, not by smell. His chest too tight, he took Izzy’s hand, hurrying to the desserts. He scooped a square of pink cake onto a plate, straining his ears.

  “Sorry for missing the wedding,” Alec’s voice rumbled, rich and deep, sliding like velvet down Ben’s spine. “I was on overtime trying to put out those wildfires. Drove here as fast as I could.”

  “I’m just glad you were able to make it,” Theo answered.

  Alec laughed, and a jolt of envy coiled in Ben’s gut. He wanted Alec to smile at him. But he’d lost Alec’s favor. He didn’t deserve to be in Alec’s presence, when he still harbored his sick, twisted fantasies.

  “It’s fine,” Alec said. “Anything for my favorite cousin.”

  Ben’s throat tightened. Once upon a time, Alec had said, Anything for my favorite brother. And that had been Ben.

  Ben tugged Izzy closer, peeking over his son’s small shoulders.

  “What’re you looking at, Daddy?” Izzy asked.

  Heat swept through Ben’s face. “Just⁠—Just your uncle,” Ben mumbled.

  Izzy turned to follow his gaze. “You mean, Uncle Alec?”

  At the sound of his name, Alec turned.

  He was the most beautiful alpha Ben had ever seen⁠—deep gray eyes, strong jaw, full lips. Alec had dressed for the cold mountain weather, and he’d dressed so nicely. His pecs stretched his fitted shirt and vest, and he was so broad that his jacket hung open, teasing Ben with glimpses of his strong body. So much muscle. Alec’s biceps looked like they might split his jacket sleeves, and the bulge at his hips⁠—gods.

  Alec’s gaze locked onto Ben. Ben’s heart stopped. He wanted to burrow into the ground. “No, no. I meant Uncle Theo.”

  For the first time in years, Ben felt Alec’s attention rake over him, a slow slide that felt like a lover’s caress. He felt naked, almost. As though Alec could see through his clothes to his bare skin. And he remembered his fantasies⁠—he remembered thinking about Alec’s lips on his throat, he remembered wanting Alec to kiss down his chest, down his belly, between his legs.

  Ben’s entire body scorched with shame.

  “We need to go,” he wheezed, grabbing Izzy’s hand. “We’ll find Aunt Temmie, and she’ll send us to the cabin.”

  “My cake!” Izzy yelped. He tried to balance his strawberry cake on his plate, as though it was his most precious thing.

  Alec was still looking at Ben.

  Feeling like a coward, Ben fled, his pants too tight.

  “Temmie,” Ben gasped the instant he found his scatterbrained cousin. “Could you take Izzy and me to our cabin, please?”

  Temmie was the one who had done the initial round of hotel bookings. She gave a huge smile. “Hi, Ben! Sure thing. Come this way.”

  Ben tugged Izzy after her, helping to hold Izzy’s plate so the cake wouldn’t fall off. “Where are we going?” Izzy asked. “Uncle Alec looked angry.”

  Ben’s stomach shriveled. Alec did?

  He didn’t feel comfortable until the chapel’s doors were firmly shut behind them, separating him from Alec. Only then did Ben suck in a deep breath, his insides flushing hot and cold. Alec’s here. Alec saw me. He’s not happy.

  Temmie bounced over to her car. Ben didn’t feel her joy at all. He made sure Izzy clicked on his seat belt, before climbing into the passenger seat next to Temmie. “Sorry,” Ben said. “I’m just not feeling so well.”
>
  He could still feel the weight of Alec’s gaze, his sheer presence. Alec burned like a bonfire in the chilly night, and Ben wanted to step so close, he’d probably singe himself.

  “Oh, don’t worry!” Temmie peered up at the now-dark sky. “It looks like it’s about to snow bunches. Let’s get you to the cabin quick.”

  Ben fidgeted, feeling like he might heave out all his dinner. Maybe that was all he’d see of Alec. Tomorrow, he and Izzy would head back to Meadowfall, and Alec... would go home by himself. They wouldn’t meet again. Ben wouldn’t have to know how much more revolted Alec was with him.

  It was only when they’d parked in front of the cabin⁠—a sprawling place, lit up by the headlights in the pitch-darkness⁠—that Temmie said, “Oh! You didn’t happen to see Alec, did you? I forgot to give him his cabin keys.”

  She jingled another set of keys, identical to the one Theo had given Ben.

  Ben blinked stupidly. “You... what?” Because surely he’d heard wrong.

  “Alec.” Temmie beamed. “Did I forget to tell you? He’s bunking with you guys tonight.”

  Ben’s stomach scrunched into a tiny lump. His entire body had frozen. Alec, bunking with them here? “H-He’s got somewhere else to stay, right?”

  “Uh-uh. The hotels in town are fully booked.” Temmie tucked the keys into her pocket. “Plus, you guys are family. There’s spare rooms here. Don’t you share a room at home or something?”

  “We don’t live with Uncle Alec,” Izzy said.