The Pretense (Men of Meadowfall Book 7) Read online

  “That’s lewd,” he panted, his hole squeezing with how close Cole was to sliding inside.

  Then Cole’s tip pushed against the front of Levi’s briefs, darkening the material with his precome. It was thick. Hungry for Levi. And Cole gripped Levi’s cheeks, spreading them open to expose his hole.

  Levi scrabbled against the wall, his body taut. Cole was sniffing at his hole. He was going to sink into Levi, stretch Levi open with his cock. Levi whimpered, reaching down to stroke Cole’s length. Cole growled, fucking into his hand, his strokes strong and hungry. Just like how they’d feel inside Levi.

  Levi moaned. He reached behind himself, holding his ass open so Cole wouldn’t have to. “Cole, please.”

  Cole’s breathing hitched. In a swift motion, he’d shoved Levi’s briefs down his thighs. Then he closed his fist loosely around Levi’s cock, murmuring in Levi’s ear, “Fuck my hand.”

  Levi’s skin scorched. Fucking an alpha? That sounded wrong. And yet here Cole was, commanding Levi to. Levi thrust his hips forward, moaning when his foreskin caught against Cole’s palm, then dragged away from his head, sending pleasure sizzling through his nerves.

  “Harder,” Cole growled.

  Levi thrust harder into his hand, chasing his own pleasure. And Cole fitted his cock between Levi’s cheeks, its hot length sliding against Levi’s hole whenever Levi thrust forward. Levi’s hunger spiked, his body squeezing with need.

  Levi’s slick smeared over Cole, until Cole’s cock grew slippery between his cheeks, thick and hungry and promising so much.

  “Cole, Cole—” Levi choked on his moan when Cole’s tip fitted right against his hole, so close to pushing into him.

  “What do you want?” Cole panted, squeezing Levi’s cock, slow and firm, until Levi writhed, right at the edge of his release.

  “I want you to fuck me,” Levi pleaded, rocking against him, not caring the slightest how depraved he looked now.

  Cole released him. Instead of teasing Levi with his cock, Cole pushed his tip against Levi’s hole, opening him up with a swift, firm thrust. Levi stretched around his alpha. Cole’s cock slid into him, big and hot, grinding right against Levi’s prostate. Pleasure burst in his body.

  Levi shuddered. He couldn’t keep standing. Not when Cole fucked hard into him, sheathing his entire cock into Levi’s body.

  “Fuck, Levi.” Cole’s breathing was ragged now, his arm wrapped solidly around Levi’s waist. “You feel so damn good.”

  Levi panted, bereft of words. He couldn’t speak, not when Cole pulled out and slid back in, lighting every single nerve. Levi curled his hands into Cole’s forearm, his breathing puffing out of his mouth, his body tensing up with each stroke of Cole’s cock inside him.

  “More,” Levi said hoarsely.

  Cole groaned, pressing Levi up against the wall. Then he began to thrust, hard, their hips meeting damply, his cock massaging that one sweet spot inside Levi, until Levi trembled in his arms, his balls pulling tight.

  “Can’t—” Levi gasped, rocking back against Cole to take him deeper. “C-can’t hold—”

  Cole anchored Levi to himself and increased his pace, his strokes growing uneven. His cock ground delicious friction into Levi, the crown of his tip catching against Levi’s insides.

  Levi whimpered, trying to hold on. Then Cole roared, fucking deep into Levi, and the thought of Cole coming inside him sent Levi over the edge, sent him spiraling into a sea of pleasure.

  Levi’s toes curled, his spine arched, and his body pulsed with pleasure, so intense he couldn’t speak or breathe.

  He clung to Cole, trembling with the aftershocks of his climax. Cole panted against him, his arms tightening around Levi’s body, his lips warm on Levi’s shoulder. Then he pressed a kiss there, another on Levi’s nape, and one further up, every kiss slow and deliberate.

  Levi’s pulse stuttered. This was... also a pretense. After Levi had pushed Cole away and broken his heart, Cole couldn’t possibly want him again.

  He swallowed, his heart pounding when Cole dragged the scent gland on his wrist down Levi’s chest, marking him with maplewood.

  “Mine,” Cole growled.

  Levi’s heart squeezed. Despite what he’d been telling himself, he wanted so much to belong. Especially to Cole, who was brave and strong. Cole, who had stood up to Levi’s bullies, and... and Cole, who had once been his best friend.

  Levi leaned against the wall, just savoring Cole’s warmth against him, Cole’s strong arms promising safety.

  Not for the first time, Levi wished he hadn’t been so damn selfless. He wished he hadn’t asked Cole to go to Micah, and instead kept Cole for himself. Fat lot of good that had done, when Micah was still disfigured and alone, and Cole didn’t have an omega, either.

  For as long as Micah wore those scars, Levi would always feel guilty about taking an alpha for himself.

  “You okay?” Cole murmured, dragging his palm down Levi’s chest.

  Levi’s heart skipped. He nodded mutely, thinking about pulling away from Cole. This shouldn’t have happened. But Gran could also be watching, and... gods, Cole wasn’t even his boyfriend.

  Levi groaned, covering his face. “I feel guilty about—” lying “—saying those things to my gran.”

  Just in case she had mics installed.

  Cole snorted. “We fuck, and that’s the first thing you say to me right after. Real smooth, Levi.”

  Levi’s face burned. “Sorry.”

  What else could he say? I wish I could have you back?

  Cole’s knot began to swell, a light, growing pressure that stretched Levi inside. Levi shivered at the pleasure, pulling away. He wasn’t ready to spend the duration of that knot with Cole.

  Cole released him. Then he froze. “Shit.”

  “What?” Levi turned, wishing he had Cole back inside him. Cole had felt so good.

  Cole was looking down at his cock. It glistened with Levi’s slick, and a whitish smear of come at its tip. It didn’t look much different from when Levi had last seen it, just bigger.

  “I forgot about the condom,” Cole said with a grimace.

  Oh. Levi stared at Cole’s cock, his thoughts slow as molasses. He was in heat. That meant... his chances of conceiving were sky-high, weren’t they?

  And then he would lose the baby again.

  The first time he’d conceived... He’d talked about baby names with Cole. They’d gone to the departmental stores, picking out baby clothes. They’d dreamed about teaching the baby their hobbies, going on adventures, just being a family.

  The miscarriage had happened out of the blue on a beautiful autumn day. Levi didn’t know why it had happened.

  All he knew was that he’d seen the blood, and he’d realized that thing in the toilet was his baby. He’d fainted, smacking his head against the wall.

  Cole had found him on the floor, half-naked, blood all over his clothes. The grief that followed... it had felt like a sledgehammer to his chest. That same grief that welled up through his lungs now, bringing tears along with it.

  Levi whimpered, pressing his palm against his belly. He wasn’t ready for that kind of disappointment again. He knew he was enough of a failure.

  “Hey,” Cole murmured, cupping his face. “Levi.”

  Levi couldn’t answer.

  Cole brushed the hair away from Levi’s face, his touch gentle. “I’m sorry about the condom,” Cole said, regret flashing through his eyes. “I really am. And I’ll do anything to help, okay? If you conceive.”

  But that wasn’t the issue here. Five other pregnancies, and they’d all failed. What were the chances of this one succeeding?

  “The way I see it,” Cole said, “you could abort the child, or... or you could keep it. If you don’t want to parent, I will.”

  Cole didn’t say more, but his gaze pleaded.

  The tightness in Levi’s chest only grew. “I’m not aborting it.”

  Some of the tension seeped out of Cole’s shoulders. He pulled Levi clo
se, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Thank you.”

  Levi fought down his tears. Don’t you understand? “That’s not the point, Cole. Whether it stays alive is a different thing.”

  Cole froze, horror flickering through his eyes. He still remembered it, then. Wrapping up their fetus, bringing it to Levi’s family property, burying it in that clearing where Levi had conceived on Cole’s eighteenth birthday.

  They’d decided that the baby would’ve been a boy, and they’d named him Jay.

  “Fuck,” Cole said quietly. “You don’t know if... if you can keep it?”

  Levi shook his head, his grief swallowing his voice.

  Cole swore. Then he pulled Levi into a tight hug, rubbing Levi’s back. “All these years... I thought you knew why, and you were hiding it from me.”

  Levi had kept his confusion a secret, hoping it would drive Cole away from himself. It had worked, in a messed-up sort of way. And now they were back at square one, with possibly a baby in Levi’s belly. Another baby he could lose.

  Levi’s heart squeezed tight. He cleared his throat a couple times before he could speak. “I don’t know why it happened. It—It just did.”

  Cole rubbed his back, his lips brushing Levi’s ear. “I’m here,” he murmured. “I don’t know how I can help, but I’ll do my best, okay?”

  Levi buried his face in Cole’s shoulder, his misery suffocating. Best that he expect to lose this baby, so he wouldn’t get his hopes up. But if he could have his very own baby to hold...

  For the longest moment, Cole held him. Levi cried into his shoulder, allowing himself to, for once. Cole stroked his back. Levi’s tears came faster. He wished everything had gone right back then. He wished the accident never happened. He wished Micah had never been hurt. And he wished he’d gotten to keep Cole’s baby and hold that little bundle of joy. Jay would’ve been seven years old now.

  When his misery eventually faded, Levi sniffled, pulling away from Cole. The shoulder of Cole’s shirt had darkened with tears, and his erection had faded. Levi winced.

  Not exactly the best way to meet his ex again.

  “I should go to bed,” Levi mumbled, his nose stopped up. “Thanks for stopping here with me. Here’s the car keys if you want to get home—”

  But Cole narrowed his eyes. “I’m not leaving you tonight.”

  Levi froze, confused. “Why...?”

  “Because you need someone.”

  Levi’s heart missed a beat. Did Cole still care...?

  Cole glanced at the ceiling around them, like he was looking for a camera. Levi’s heart sank. He shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up.

  Cole led the way deeper into the house. Levi trudged after him, pausing when Cole found a bedroom. There was a queen-sized bed in the corner, heavy drapes around the curtain. When Cole flicked on the ensuite bathroom lights, they found a soaking tub, and bright lights around the counter mirror.

  “Go first,” Cole said. “I’ll wait.”

  Levi hesitated in meeting his eyes. After their past, after breaking up, telling Cole he should bond with another omega... Cole was still here. And his gaze was patient, waiting.

  Levi didn’t deserve this, did he?

  He bowed his head, ducking into the bathroom. He found a pair of bathrobes, laying one out for Cole. Then he stepped into the bath, turned the shower on hot, and closed his eyes.

  When he stepped out of the bathroom, he found Cole in an armchair in the corner of the room, on his phone. Cole glanced up, and Levi tugged the bathrobe tighter around his body, embarrassed.

  “The water’s still warm,” Levi mumbled. He crawled into the bed. Wondered if they were sharing it.

  “I want the right side,” Cole said, glancing at the bedroom door. “Closer to the exit.”

  So he could leave?

  “In case I need to show up at the station for emergencies.” Cole wriggled his phone. The left side of the bed butted up against the wall.

  “Oh.” And then Levi felt a little bit better. Cole was staying. Even if he didn’t want Levi... Levi did kind of enjoy having him around, secretly.

  Cole disappeared into the bathroom. Levi squirmed under the covers, listening to Cole’s phone buzzing on the armchair. The room smelled a little musty, unused—and it should. It hadn’t had guests in a while.

  Levi lost himself in thought, jumping when the bathroom door clicked open. Then footsteps padded over, and the bed indented behind him. Levi’s heart flew to his throat.

  He smelled maplewood and soap, and not so much of that smoke-and-ash scent Cole wore. Levi didn’t move. He wasn’t sure what to do, when he hadn’t shared a bed with Cole in so long.

  Cole shuffled under the covers. Then he moved behind Levi, almost too close, and a warm, heavy arm slid around Levi’s waist. Cole’s breath puffed into Levi’s damp hair, and his chest bumped into Levi’s back.

  They were sharing a bed.

  His cheeks warming, Levi pressed his face into the pillow, his heart thundering. Cole’s holding me.

  “You all right?” Cole rumbled, his voice quiet.

  “Yeah,” Levi croaked. And as Cole wrapped himself around Levi, Levi couldn’t help leaning back against him, just soaking up Cole’s warmth, and the weight of his body.

  It felt safe, being in Cole’s arms. Levi didn’t know how he’d forgotten this.

  “I’m gonna sleep,” Cole said. “Gotta get up early. I have a shift tomorrow at eight.”

  “Okay,” Levi breathed.

  “Night.” Then Cole brushed his lips against Levi’s neck, and Levi’s heart squeezed tight.

  None of this was real.

  5

  COLE

  HE’D FUCKED LEVI. He’d actually gone and fucked Levi, and to make things worse, he’d completely forgotten to use a condom. And Levi had been in heat. What if he’d gotten Levi pregnant?

  Gods, I’m an idiot.

  Cole threw his clothes haphazardly into his moving boxes, his thoughts a mess. Again. Like that other night hadn’t been enough.

  So he’d agreed to play along with this fake-boyfriend thing of Levi’s. That was okay. Except they’d be lying to Levi’s family, and... not only that, but how was he going to explain them getting back together? Or why they’d broken up in the first place?

  Cole had no wish to delve back into the past. That was painful enough. He should’ve quit and left when he could this time, except that would’ve made him a coward, and it would also have left Levi open for some other alpha to claim.

  It made his heart skip a little, knowing Levi now wore his scent.

  And Levi had felt exquisite against him the other night. Not just the fucking, but Levi sleeping against him in bed, his chest softly rising and falling, his face so damn peaceful.

  The next morning, Cole had slipped out of the bedroom the moment he’d woken, his cock too hard and his instincts growling to leave his scent all over Levi. Then he’d gone on his shift at the station, and he hadn’t seen Levi since. Probably a good thing.

  In the middle of packing his dishes, his phone buzzed. Cole glanced at the new message.

  I need some help... please? Levi had texted.

  Cole’s stomach flipped. Didn’t even hesitate before he replied, What with?

  My mom heard I had a boyfriend. Now she wants to meet you. Levi had added a sticker of a person wincing.

  Cole sighed, remembering Levi’s initial promise of two dinners a month. What did Levi feel about that? I’ll be there. Now?

  Levi answered with an address, then Yes, now. Sorry.

  Be right there. It wasn’t like Cole had anything else to do, anyway. He was just holding up his end of the deal. Not that he wanted to kiss those pink lips again, or anything.

  Cole was out of his door in seconds, throwing his red sedan into drive.

  He found Levi’s apartment complex—part of a run-down building on the poorer side of Meadowfall, with the parking lot mostly empty.

  Cole jogged up the stairwell, turning down a dim cor
ridor. Found Levi’s door, knocking on it.

  Further in the apartment, someone yelped. When it swung open, the corridor filled with light, and Levi stood in the doorway, his hair tousled, his mom a couple steps behind him.

  “Mrs. O’Devlin,” Cole said, nodding at her with a smile. She waved back.

  “Sorry,” Levi said under his breath. “I... also kind of needed help packing. And, um.” He waved in the direction of his mom.

  Cole figured he may as well make this look legitimate. He stepped closer to Levi, cupped Levi’s smooth face in his hands, and brought his lips up for a kiss. Levi’s eyes grew wide. He wasn’t expecting a kiss?

  But it wasn’t like Cole could stop right now in front of Levi’s mom. He breathed in Levi’s jasmine scent, dragging their mouths together, slow and sweet like the way he’d used to do.

  Levi still felt so familiar against him, so delicate and beautiful, and Cole’s heart thudded.

  When he broke the kiss, Levi stared at him, wide-eyed, his lips pink and damp, like he needed another kiss.

  Cole leaned in again, figuring he may as well make this look real. Levi squawked, stepping away. “Not in front of Mom,” he squeaked.

  Mrs. O’Devlin chuckled. Like Levi, she was thin and auburn-haired, smile lines on her face. So different from Cole’s own mother. “You’re the same as I remember you, Cole.”

  Didn’t she know he’d broken up with Levi once before? Or maybe Levi never told her the circumstances. Cole stepped forward, pulling her into a hug. She smelled like wild lilies, and she patted him on the back.

  “I hope you’ve been doing well,” Cole said. “It’s been a while.”

  “Yes, it has. I was so surprised when Levi’s gran called to tell me he’s moving into that old mansion with his boyfriend.” Mrs. O’Devlin raised her eyebrows. “And it was you, too. I didn’t know Levi was dating you.”

  Levi squirmed, looking everywhere but at his mom and Cole. “I need to finish packing. Please help?”

  Cole glanced at the half-packed boxes scattered around the tiny apartment. The place was terrible—paint peeling off the walls, the carpets ratty and stained. Yeah, it would be so much better for Levi to move out.